


Between brothers

by TheIceQueen



Series: Fear and brotherhood [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anesthesia, Apologies, Blood, Brain Injury, Broken Bones, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Car Accidents, Concussions, Confusion, Crying, Doctors & Physicians, Drugs, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Friendship, Guilt, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Loss of Control, Medical, Needles, Pain, Painkillers, Panic, Phobias, Promises, Secrets, Sleep, Sobbing, Surgery, Unconsciousness, Vomiting, probably medical inaccuracies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-10 17:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: Joe has won a drive in a formula one car and brings Conor and Jack along to the event, but everything takes a wrong turn and the day doesn't end up as planned.Refers to another of my fics (Backstage), but it can absolutely be read without having read the other.





	1. A wrong turn

It was early, the light was slightly yellow and pale as the sun hadn’t burnt through the mist from the cold morning yet. The three boys weren’t usually up this early on a Saturday, but today they were already in the car. Joe had won a drive in a formula one car, it would take about two hours to get to Silverstone and there was no way they were getting there late because of traffic. He had brought the Maynard brothers along to watch, film and hopefully try one themselves. As Conor had said; “No matter how much, if it’s possible, I’m doing it.”

The drive out of London was smooth with them getting out there before the weekend-holiday-traffic heading out of town. Joe was driving and Conor was sitting in the passenger seat. They were excited and both smiling from ear to ear, but with an almost sleeping Jack in the backseat and the smooth driving, a peaceful mood overtook them both and the car was calm and quiet. The rising sun was strong enough to warm the boys through the window and Conor contemplated sleeping a bit too, but it wouldn’t be fair to Joe. He had asked them to come along and he was driving, so Conor settled on relaxing in the sunlight, just waiting for it to get warm enough that they’d had to crack open a window.

* * *

None of them saw the van before they heard the sound of metal against metal and felt the car deviate from course. Joe could do nothing to help the car from turning to the left and going of the road. They were all awake when the passenger side of the car scraped against a building at full speed, but when it was brought to a violent halt, hitting another brick wall head on, they were all out.


	2. Waking up beside you

**_Jack_ **

Jack was the first to wake up. He wasn’t even sure if he’d been unconscious. He was seated behind Joe, but the van had only hit the front of the car and even though he had been shook around by the movement he hadn’t been hurt until they hit the last wall. Everything was hazy and there were no sounds. Before he even opened his eyes, he moved his hand to his forehead. He didn’t find any blood, until he moved the hand down under his nose. He must have hit his head against the headrest of Joes seat. He opened his eyes in alarm. Joe and Conor?

He could see slight movement in the seat in front of him, but Conor wasn’t moving.

“Conor?”

He remembered that he had been sleeping and cleared his rusty voice.

“Conor?”

There was no answer, not even movement. He couldn’t see if he was breathing, from where he was sitting, and he reached to undo his seatbelt. The pain came as a surprise and he yelled out still earning no response from the two older guys. He hadn’t considered being injured himself, except for his bloody nose, but his wrist was obviously broken. Jack reached over with his other hand and undid the belt and maneuvered into the middle of the rear seat, getting a closer look at his brother. Conor was laying back against the seat in an almost peaceful position, if it wasn’t for the blood running from his forehead, making stripes over his white skin and eventually coloring his light gray hoodie in a dark shade of red. It looked like he was breathing, but Jack wasn’t sure if that was wishful thinking. Jacks heart sunk he wanted to shake his brother awake but his hand stopped in the air, only an inch from Conors shoulder. What if his back is hurt? Maybe his neck is broken. What if he hurts him more?

“Conor! Wake up. Please.”

When he didn’t get any answer, he tuned his head to Joe. The boy in front of him was definitely alive, but clearly hurt. Joe was sweating bullets and turning his head from side to side while moaning and trying to shift position, all while still unconscious.

“Joe? Wake up man.”

Jack didn’t hesitate to reach out and shake Joes shoulder a bit. He was moving around a lot anyway.

 

* * *

  **_Joe_ **

“I’m calling for help.”

It was an unknown voice and Joe was sure there was more said than that, but the next voice drowned it out. It was closer and familiar.

“Joe. C’mon wake up.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him, but the thing demanding his attention was his leg. It was a white glowing burning, going as deep as the bone.

“My leg. Oh my God! My leg!”

He was yelling, he couldn’t help it, the pain was intense and he couldn’t move to relieve it in any way. Any time he moved it made it worse.

“Joe. Open your eyes.”

Jacks voice was unexpectedly calmer and almost comforting.

“We need to get out of here. We need to get Conor help.”

Joe was almost hyperventilating from pain, but he turned and looked into the frightened expression on Jacks face and then past it to Conor lying lifeless on the seat next to him. He took a few deep breaths to prepare himself for talking, but he still had to break up the stream of words to control his breathing enough to not pass out from the pain.

“Someone… already called… Can you… get out?”

Joe heard Jack shifting around frantically behind him and eventually pulling the door behind him. It didn’t open. The other was no use, there was a whole building blocking it, but Jack tried it anyway.

“Were locked in!”

Joe could hear it on Jacks voice; the younger Maynard were freaking out. Jack started banging on the window, which apparently wouldn’t open either. Joe reached to try his own door and accidently moved position to do so. His leg felt like it was being torn off and his eyesight went out, his stomach bolted up and he almost threw up.

“Joe?”

Jacks voice was the only thing keeping him from passing out. If he wasn’t there to remind him of Conor, he would have caved and accepted some peaceful unawareness at this time.

“I’m…”

Joe panted for a second.

“…stuck.”

“Can you get out of the windshield?”

Jack turned Joes attention to the broken windshield lying on the crumpled bonnet of the car.

“No… My legs… are stuck… Can’t move.”

Jack must have realized that there was no way of getting out of the car without help, as he started beating the window again. This time he was yelling for help and crying as he did so. Joe looked at Conor.

“C’mon man. Wake up. You’re scaring me.”

It was only a whisper, Jack certainly didn’t hear it, but it was a lot for Joe to say, without controlling his breathing and the pain took over. He passed out again.


	3. I help you. You help me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe is in pain but have to put that a side for a minute to help Jack. Jack had to manage his fear so Conor and Joe can get help, and he tries, he really tries.

_**Jack** _

Jack heard the sirens, as they were coming closer he relaxed a bit and wiped his eyes, only just realizing that he had been crying. Help was coming.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

There was a man looking in through the frame where the windshield had been. It must have been him who called for help. Jack looked between the two unconscious guys in front and to the guy just managing to reach his head inside.

“Yeah, but…”

Jack looked at Joe and then at Conor, who still hadn’t moved.

“I know. Help is on its way. Can you hear it?”

Jack nodded, he tried the door one last time, not sure what he would accomplish and of course it still didn’t open.

“Conor? Wake up please. Help is almost here.”

Jacks eyes started burning again and soon tears were wetting his already red face.

“Conor. Can you hear me? O my God, please don’t be…”

Jack stopped himself mid-sentence. He couldn’t say it. He wouldn’t. It wasn’t true anyway. Conor would be just fine, he had to.

The sirens came closer and got louder. Then they stopped. He hadn’t noticed the guy from before disappearing, but a new man was there now.

“Are you awake?”

Jack looked up. The man was sitting on his knees on top of the bonnet, looking straight at him with a kind smile. The silver reflective tape on his green and yellow jacket was shimmering in the light from the morning sun, it almost looked like the gray tint of his hair was doing the same.

“What’s your name?”

“Jack.”

“Okay Jack. Sit tight. We are going to open the door and get you out in a minute.”

The middle-aged man then turned his attention to Joe, who was starting to show signs of waking up and with that moaning in distress and pain.

“What about these two? What are their names?”

“Conor, and that’s Joe.”

Jack sat back, observing every move as the man placed a plastic collar around Joe’s neck and checked his pulse. He did the same to Conor and while he checked the pulse Jack stopped breathing.

“Is he… He’s okay, right?”

Jack was looking only at his brother, not that it mattered, as his eyes were full of tears and he only saw shadows around him.

“He’s unconscious but he’s breathing on his own, which is good.”

The man turned around and yelled something Jack didn’t hear. There were someone working on the door. He suddenly became aware of what was going on outside of the car. People in green uniforms and yellow jackets were everywhere. He could see two ambulances but there were more sirens getting closer.

“Fuck! My leg!”

Jack turned his attention to Joe. He was awake and once again in a lot of pain.

“Joe. Can you hear me?”

The man from before was holding Joe’s face in both hands looking in his eyes. Joe didn’t answer, not with words anyway. He started panting and crying. Jack wanted out of the car now. He wanted Joe to stop hurting and as much as he wanted Conor to wake up, he hated that two other paramedics were sitting on the front of the car now too and putting needles in his brother’s arms and an oxygen mask on his face. Didn’t the other one just tell him that Conor was breathing fine?

The door opened and a young man in a dark green uniform started to move into the backseat with Jack.

“No don’t touch me!”

Jack shot back to the opposite side of the car and squeezed into the floor-space behind Conors. The man in question moved out of the car slowly, holding his hands up in front of him to let Jack know where they were at all times and that he had noting in them. He settled in a squatting position outside the car facing Jack.

“I’m only here to help.”

The man seemed kind and under any other circumstances Jack would have no problem trusting him, but when he saw the dark green shirt-uniform move closer to him he realized where this were going. The hospital. Jack had always been nervous when it came to doctors, hospitals and anything connected to it, but after his hospital stay last year, the nervousness had been replaced with fear. He hadn’t been to the doctor, dentist and definitely not at a hospital since. He had a checkup after, where the doctor came to their place, but it had been a struggle for everyone involved, especially Jack.

“I’m not going to the Hospital!”

Jack was starting to hyperventilate. He looked like a cornered animal running out of options.

“I just need you out of the car. Let me help you.”

The man was not moving an inch.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Jack – “

It was Joe. Jack looked towards him, but couldn’t see but he could hear that the older guy was crying.

“I know… you’re scared.”

Everyone was silent, the young paramedic by the door, the older in front of Joe, the two others in front of Conor. Jack was silent. Joe talked slow and almost inaudibly.

“They need to… cut car… to get… us out.”

It took forever for Joe to finish his sentence, but he got through to Jack.

“Jack?”

“Yeah.”

“Get out… wait... me… I… need… you…”

It was getting harder for Joe to get the words out; his breathing was ragged and the crying didn’t help. Jack looked at the door and the man sitting in the opening.

“I won’t touch you. Just come out. We need to get in there to help the other two.”

He moved a bit out of the way, so Jack could see a path out. Jack straightened his back so he could see Joe. The older paramedic was looking at him. Joe had a hand up as to stop him from doing anything, and Jack realized that Joe had stopped any treatment or help as long as he was waiting for Jacks response.

“I’ll wait for you. Don’t worry, I won’t leave.”

He moved over the seats and slowly out of the door making sure the young man kept his distance. With his feet on the ground he stood up, a pain tore through his head and the grass he stood on turned black for his eyes. Jack fell to his knees and hands. On the way down, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, but as soon as he was steady they were gone. The young boy poured his breakfast onto the grass and his own hands. When he was done he still felt dizzy, but sat up looking into the eyes of the man from before. He was keeping his distance, careful not to indicate that he would touch Jack.

“Take your time. You probably have a concussion.”

Jack gathered himself for a second then he looked at his hands. Someone came closer and Jack flinched.

“It’s okay.”

The man held op his hand to stop the female paramedic from coming closer. He got op and met her, she turned away and he came back with the vet napkins she had brought. He sat down and reached them slowly to Jack. Jack took them and cleaned his hands.

“My name is Paul, you’re Jack, right?”

Jack nodded while still working on getting his hands clean.

“Can you stand on your own?”

Jack tried to get up, it took some time, but he got it. He was swaying, though, and there was no way he could move without support. He leaned his back against the car and managed to stay upright.

“I would like if you could get to the ambulance.”

Jacks eyes were filled with fear. He looked over the sight of the crash. There were three ambulances all backed up against them and open. The van that hit were parked a bit down the road and a man was standing next to it talking to officers. The police car was still blinking its blue lights. There were no sirens, no engine sounds, but the sight was busy with people running around all knowing what to do. A firetruck was pulling up between the van and the car supporting Jack and still holding Joe and his brother captive.

“No. I can’t. No ambulance.”

Jacks voice were more pleading than demanding this time. He couldn’t get in an ambulance. He couldn’t go to the hospital and he couldn’t leave Joe and Conor.

“We are going to sit outside it. I promise. I know you can’t be touched, but how about I’ll make you a deal?”

Jack looked up, curious, but not expecting anything good to come out of the man’s mouth.

“See that box over there.”

He pointed to a metal trunk on the grass a few feet behind the firs ambulance. Jack nodded.

“If I hold out my arm like this…”

He lifted his lover arm towards Joe, keeping it horizontal and the palm of his hand facing down.

“…and my friend over there do the same.”

He nodded against the woman from before, standing by, waiting for his sign.

“Then you can hold on to us and walk over there and sit down. We won’t be touching you. Does that sound like something you could do?”

Jack contemplated for a second and then he accepted. The woman came over slowly and they walked on a line with Jack in the middle. Jack needed the support. His right food landed crooked every step, but the two just let him take his time, not touching him even when he almost fell. With the arrangement, he felt in control and when he sat down, the woman left and Paul sat down in the grass in front of him.


	4. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting out of the car isn't easy. Joe can't see Jack anymore and they are both struggling with not having each other... and being there for each other.

_**Joe** _

When Jack had left the car, Joe turned his attention back to his own situation. The pain made it difficult to make a clear thought, there were something pinning his left leg down in an unnatural position. The pressure made the pain expand up in his thigh and hip with every heartbeat making the blood push through the confined space.

“Is… car… on fire?”

“No Joe. The car is safe. We already checked that.”

Joe tilted his head back as much as the collar let him. Crying. Hyperventilating. His leg _was_ burning, he knew it.

The paramedic grabbed his hand.

“Hey. Stay with me, okay?!

“Leg… burning!”

“We’ll get you something for the pain soon. They are on their way. Just hang in there. Which leg?”

Joe gave up on speaking. It was too much to manage on top of everything else, so he just looked down to his left.

“Okay. I need to take a look, to see how bad it is and how we can get you out.”

Joe rested his head back, and looked over at Conor. One paramedic was still there checking on him but, they didn’t seem to be doing anything else until he’s out. Joe noticed the condensation on the inside of the mask increasing and fading, leaving him reassured that Conor was breathing. Right now, he wanted to be the one passed out. How good it would be to sleep from it all. Not noticing one of his legs being torn with every move, or the paramedic who was now on his stomach with his head inside the car and one arm reaching down Joe’s lover leg.

“Joe. Can you feel me touching you?”

The voice came from between his knees.

“No… maybe.”

“Tell me when you’re sure. Okay?”

He didn’t feel anything new. The pain was so bad he was not sure he was able to anyway. Wait, maybe…

“There!”

Joe definitely felt a hand around his ankle. Then it moved a bit up.

“Feel it.”

It moved again. Joe screamed out. The torture spread through his entire body, the burning extended to the whole leg. Joe tossed around in the seat and the paramedic came up to face him, quick without touching him further. He yelled at someone outside and then grabbed both Joe’s hands again.

“Joe? Are you here?”

Joe couldn’t see. He couldn’t hear. His body could only focus on the pain. He couldn’t breathe. He felt his hands getting limp in the hands of the gray-haired man. His arms and neck were soon to follow. His hands fell to his sides and someone moved his head. Something wrapped around his head was covering his mouth and nose. Joe was scared, he didn’t understand, but he was not able to fight it and as soon as it was on him he started breathing easier, his lungs filled with air and he opened his eyes. Still confused and in pain.

“Try to calm down a bit. You’ll feel better in a sec.”

The man reached back and was handed something. He took Joe’s hand again.

“You’ll feel a small prick and then I can give you something for the pain.”

Joe couldn’t care less about the needle. He just wanted the pain to end.

The drug worked almost immediately and even though it didn’t take the pain away completely, it took enough of the edge of so he could finally relax his muscles and sink down in the seat a bit. He moved his hand to his mouth, but the paramedic took the hand before it reached its destination.

“It’s just a mask. It’ll help you breathe. Leave it on, okay?”

Joe looked at the man and nodded.

“Do you remember me telling you my name?”

“No, sorry.”

Joes words came almost effortlessly, for the first time since he woke up.

“No need to be. You had other things to think about. I’m Keith. I’ll be the one staying here, while they cut the roof of the car.”

Joe looked around, as much as he could with his neck restrained, and for the first time realizing how many people there was outside of the car. There was a buzzing of talking and yelling coming from behind the car where he couldn’t see, in front of him there were still two more people on the top of the bonnet next to Keith. He looked at Conor, there were arms around his face working, someone must be sitting behind him too. The mask, that had reassured Joe of Conor’s breathing was gone and they were doing something to him, but Joe couldn’t see what was going on. He couldn’t turn his head enough to get a clear look and there were to many hands on Conor.

“Did he stop breathing?”

Joe looked at Keith with terror and tears in his eyes. This time the tears were not a result of his own pain, though. He couldn’t lose Conor, why did this happen? Just a freak accident. Oh no… How would he tell Jack? Tears were running down his face before he was even done asking.

“He’s still here. He was showing signs of pain so we drugged him and that means he needs help with his breathing. He’s just sleeping and now he’s comfortable.”

“Please just get us out.”

Joe couldn’t handle this roller-coaster anymore. He was losing patience quickly. It was more than that, really. He started to feel claustrophobic and his whole body was aching to move out of the locked position and tight space.

“We will. As soon as Conor is ready. Tell me if the pain gets worse or if anything else changes.”

“Where’s Jack?”

The gray-haired head tilted back and to the side to look over the ground behind the car. It came back with a reassuring smile.

“He’s right outside, waiting. He looks fine. Sitting and talking to a colleague of mine.”

Joe took a breath of relief. Jack was fine. He’s not alone and more importantly; he’s not at the hospital or in an ambulance, alone. Joe didn’t knew the extent of the trauma Jack went through last year, he just remembered the cast on the younger Maynard’s arm and the tired looks on both Jack and Conor. Conor had told him about the fears Jack had developed after, but nothing else. Right now, that was all he needed to know to help, but he needed to get out of the car first.

The three other men moved away from the car and out of sight, but Keith stayed and wrapped both boys in silver blankets. Joe had always thought it must be cool in that metallic wrapper you see on TV, but he felt the heat immediately. Then the sound of machinery started and was soon followed by metal crushing and the whole car shaking by a result. Keith must have seen the fear in Joe’s eyes as the movement started shaking the car and thereby the confided space for his legs. The man grabbed Joe’s hand.

“Are you in pain?”

The voice was almost lost in the loud noises from behind him, but he got it and shook his head. He wasn’t in pain, but was tense and ready for it to come every second now.

It felt like forever for them to cut the metal, but finally they bent the roof all the way to the front, making Keith move to not get stuck. Still holding Joe’s hand and keeping an attentive eye on Conor, he now stood on the side of the car. Joe felt his seat move. Not buy much, but it let him know that someone was working behind it. Keith nodded at the man down there and when the sound of breaking glass and metal was all gone he squeezed Joe’s hand a bit more, to get his attention.

“We need to move your seat back to get you out. How are you feeling right now?”

The burning in his left leg was starting to come back and the seasoned paramedic must have noticed the chancing in Joe’s breathing.

“It burns.”

Within five seconds Keith had pressed more drugs into the attachment to Joe’s hand and the burning started to decrease again.

“It’s important you sit as still as possible and let us do all the work. Do you understand?”

Joe nodded a bit, not knowing what to expect from being moved. All of a sudden everything happened very fast. Hands from everywhere, holding him steady and locked to the seat. The seat clicked and moved back in a smooth motion. His legs hurt. Both of them. The left was the worse. Electricity shot through the entire leg and up his spine. Every sound died out and his eyes only managed to see the face and gray hair of the man in front of him. Terror overtook his body and mind when he realized that his left foot didn’t hurt. It didn’t burn. He couldn’t tell if he was moving his ankle or toes. Nothing was there.

“My foot!”

He yelled at the face looking back at him.

“Breathe, Joe. It’s over. You are steady now. I’ll give you more for the pain.”

“No!”

He pulled the mask from his face to get the words out clearer. Joe was panicking but the pain was already almost gone again. The man didn’t get it.

“No pain. Nothing. My foot!”

Joe was grabbing the green and yellow jacket with both hands. He needed help and he needed it now, but he was not able to form a coherent sentence.

“Gone!”

 

* * *

  _ **Jack**_

Jack heard the screaming from the car. The color vanished from the boy’s face. Joe was in pain, freaking out or angry, maybe all of the above.

“Joe!”

He stood up too fast and ended up on his hands and knees again. He still wouldn’t let anyone touch him so Paul just made sure he didn’t fall too fast and then let go.

 “Jack. Calm down. You’ll end up passing out.”

Jack sat up resting his bum on his feet, clutching his left hand with his right.

“He’s with the people who can help him the best. I promise they are taking good care of him. Does your hand hurt?”

Jack looked down at his hand. It did hurt, he just couldn’t be bothered. Joe was in so much pain. Hell, he could hear him screaming from here. Jack climbed back up to sit on the trunk, but kept looking towards the car. He hated the screaming from Joe, but he hated the silence from Conor more.

“It’s not important.”

The young paramedic sat down in front of Jack, careful not to block the view of the car and not to get too close.

“Look at me for a second. Will you?”

Jack looked down, but only because Joe had stopped screaming, at least he wasn’t doing it so loud that Jack could separate it from the rest of the noises around him.

“I know you’re scared and I know you want to be with your friends, but right now we have to take care of you.”

Jack shook his head. No one should take care of him. He knew what that meant. They would touch him, strangers, and it would hurt. He would have no control and he would panic. He looked at the car again. He missed Conor. He was so close, but so far away and probably still unconscious, but Conor was the only one who knew, he was the only one who could help. A tear made its way down Jacks cheek.

“Jack. Look at me. Jack…”

Jack looked at Paul as more tears followed. He was still shaking his head, but kept eye-contact with the man who wanted to help him so bad, but couldn’t.

“We’ll make a deal like before, okay?”

The walking between the two medic's had worked well. It was okay when it was him calling the shots and they were not grabbing him. He stilled and waited for the proposal.

“Your hand is broken. It need a splint, but you can do it yourself, right here. I’ll show you. It’ll feel a lot better when it’s stable.”

Jack looked interested and Paul got up to get the splint from the ambulance.

 

* * *

  _ **Joe**_

Joe was not screaming anymore. He was crying. Sobbing so he almost couldn’t breathe, he was shaking, not caring about the pain it caused his legs. Keith had a hand on either shoulder of the trembling boy, but the words he was saying wasn’t making their way to Joe.

“Joe. You’re OK!”

Keith turned his head and yelled something to someone who immediately started to prepare something from the orange bag on the grass next to the car.

“I’ll give you something to help you calm down.”

He pressed the drugs into the small tube in Joe’s hand. Joe started to relax a bit. He was still horrified by the thought of missing his foot and the crying didn’t stop, he was just shaking less and when he was able to keep eye-contact with the medic, Keith tried talking to him again.

“Joe. Your foot is there. It’s the pain blocking it. Do you understand? Your leg is complete, nothing is missing.”

Joe took a few seconds to let the message resonate in his mind.

“But, I can’t feel it.”

Sniffling. He was confused and still not sure he was okay.

“I know, but you have a pulse in your foot. It’s just your brain that’s confused with all the signals.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

Joe was embarrassed by his outburst, but mostly he was scared and confused. He couldn’t keep it all together. Conor was still not awake, Jack was not in line of sight. He had no idea how bad his own legs were and now his own brain couldn’t even be trusted. To add to it all, the new drug had definitely made him drowsy. His hands felt like he was wearing oven-mitts and his whole body moved slower. Even the small range of movement he had of his head was slowed down noticeably.

“You still don’t have to be sorry about anything. Are you ready to get out of this car now?”

“Please.”

“Let us do the work. No moving around okay?”

Keith put the mask back over Joe's mouth and nose. Joe wasn’t even sure he was able to move with all the medicine in his body. He closed his eyes as all the hands came back and held him steady. A stretcher was moved down between his back and the seat and before he knew it, he was being pulled slowly up the board. It hurt, but nothing like he had learned to expect.

“Are you with me Joe?”

Joe realized that his eyes were still closed and when he opened them he was on his back facing the light blue sky. How could the world around them stay so calm? If this was a movie, there would have been thunder or storm, at least there would have been rain. The birds flying above, going on with their life and singing to the sun, was a painful reminder that this was not a movie or a dream. It was very much real life.

Joe was just able to see the team, belonging to all the hands, surround Conor and bring another stretcher into the car. Then he was carried away from the car and put down on something steady. He couldn’t see but the feeling of wheels under him was a nice change to being carried.

“Joe?”

The voice was almost not there. It sounded scared of the response it might provoke and came from a person who had been crying for a while. There was no doubt that it was familiar. It couldn’t have been more than half an hour since Jack left the car, but the feeling Joe had now was as they hadn’t seen each other for a year. He realized that even though he should be the strong one it was a two-way street. Joe needed Jack too.

Being strapped down only able to look up at the arrogant blue sky, was worrying. He couldn’t see where he was going and he hadn’t thought past getting out of the car, so he was not prepared. The hand taking his, so carefully like it was afraid of breaking Joe, and the familiar face of Jack blocking the blue canvas above him, was the help he needed. Jack could be his eyes, his periscope and he would be Jacks anchor if he needed it.

“Are you… How are…?”

Jack looked down over Joe’s body. He swallowed and tears were filling his eyes again.

“I’m okay now. Just glad to be outta there.”

Jack seemed to understand him even with talking through the oxygen-mask. Joe saw Jack’s reaction to the sight of his legs and he wanted to know. He wanted to see his legs for himself, but right now he needed Jack to be with him, to help him, and that meant that he needed to wait with all the questions. At least till they were on the way to the hospital. How the hell would he get Jack into an ambulance?


	5. Unconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conor is finally out of the car too, but still unconscious.

Conor's limp body was slid up the plastic stretcher in one even motion. As the unconscious boy was settled horizontally, he was strapped tightly in place. His head was held steady by a padded orange box and a strap was secured over his forehead too. As the team moved over the grass with their valuable cargo a pair of eyes followed their every move. The eyes resembled the ones on the unconscious one, and if Conor were to wake up, he would reveal the same blue color as his little brother.

The only movement on the stretcher was the chest moving mechanically to the rhythm of the hand pressing the bag in front of Conor’s face, connected to the tube entering his mouth. A small bump indicated that they were moving into the ambulance. The blue eyes following them were blocked by the door closing and the bag was replaced with a machine, making the breathing even more mechanical.

Wires were added and preparations for more drugs were made. The ride was quiet except for the sirens and the short comments on Conor’s status. Things were written down and handed over to the staff at the hospital when they got there. All the hands that had been taking care of him left but he didn’t notice the change in people. He didn’t notice the commotion as the pace changed for the faster and he didn’t notice that he was alone with strangers the whole time.


	6. A secret and a promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the ambulance Jack and Joe get some time to talk. Things from Jack's past gets revealed.

**_Jack_ **

Jack was frozen in his position next to Joe, his eyes at the pavement where the ambulance containing Conor were parked just a second ago. Joe pulled his hand, but he didn’t move. He almost lost the grip on his friend, but Joe’s hand tightened and pulled harder. Jack looked down to meet the comfort in Joe’s eyes, but he didn’t find any. The pulling was a result of the stretcher moving towards the ambulance and Joe looked scared. He was holding on to Jack’s hand like his life depended on it. Jack stood still and Joe’s grip got tighter.

“Jack? Please.”

Joe was going in there with or without Jack, but he was not letting go willingly. Jack swallowed and took a few steps, but when the stretcher was moving inside the ambulance he wringed his hand from Joe’s and took a step back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t.”

It was barely a whisper but he kept going.

“I can’t. I can’t go. I’m sorry.”

“Jack?!”

Joe’s voice was filled with fear. He was not able to see the younger boy, and now he’s lost the only contact he had on him.

“Jack?”

Paul put a hand on the frozen boy’s shoulder. Careful not to grab him.

“Look at me.”

Jack turned his grayish white face to the medic.

“You need to go. Please go in here with Joe, or you and me would just have to ride the other ambulance.”

Jack stood stiff as a board, looking at Paul, at Joe and then at the last ambulance waiting just a few feet from them. Jack shifted away from the hand on his shoulder and took another step back.

“I can’t.”

He had no idea how he would get out of this. He needed to be with Conor right now. Conor would be able to help, to make everything bearable. Paul put his hand back on Jack’s shoulder and this time the other was around his back, as if he was getting ready to push Jack into the ambulance, but he didn’t, he just waited.

Jack knew he needed to go with Joe and that time for making that decision was running out. The stretcher was already locked in place in the ambulance and the older paramedic was seated and ready to go. He just couldn’t get his feet to move. He was stranded. He looked at the medic again, he was strong, Jack could feel it, but the grip he had on him was nothing more than supportive.

“Are you ready?”

Jack nodded but his feet didn’t move until Paul started pushing a bit. Carefully they moved forward. Jack felt the slight pressure he needed to move, but as he needed at break all pressure stopped.

“You are doing great. It´s okay Jack. Just sit in that seat, then you can hold Joe’s hand again.”

Jack started walking on his own this time, and with the support from Paul he managed to get his shaking legs with him into the ambulance and place himself in the seat. Paul locked the seatbelt around him and sat down right beside him. Jack found Joe’s hand and held tight.

 

* * *

  **_Joe_ **

Joe drew a sigh of relief when he felt Jack’s hand in his before the doors were closed and the ambulance started moving.

Keith and the younger paramedic were attaching things to his chest and fingers, and explaining as they did so, but Joe didn’t get any of the words. He was the object of too many things at once, again, and all he could think about was his legs.

“My legs?”

He was not sure anything came out through the mask on his face, so he tried to remove it, but his arms were trapped by the strap going over his chest.

“My legs!”

“Are you in pain again?”

The older man started to look a bit worried. He had already given Joe a lot of painkillers, maybe he couldn’t give him any more. It was a scary thought to Joe, but right now the pain wasn’t too bad.

“No. I need to know.”

The look on the paramedic softened slightly.

“The right leg is broken, probably in two places. The left is broken to, but a bit more severe, it’s an open fracture and you might need surgery.”

“My foot?”

Joe was still not able to feel anything below his left ankle and he couldn’t shake the thought that he might lose it.

“Your foot is fine. You have a pulse and it’s a good color. We’ll keep an eye on everything, you just use this ride to relax a bit, okay?”

Joe nodded and squeezed Jack’s hand to make sure he was still there. Jack’s head popped into sight. He was pale and his eyes were bloodshot, but he looked like he had his breathing under control. Joe moved to try and remove his mask again, but had forgotten the restraints. Jack looked in the direction of the younger medic, and turned back to pull the mask down under Joe’s chin.

“I’m sorry, Joe. I’m here.”

Jack did look sorry, and embarrassed too. At the moment Joe was satisfied with Jack being awake and alert, he must has been close to passing out earlier in the car, and with Conor not being there, Joe was amazed that Jack hadn’t punched anyone yet.

“It’s okay, Jack. I’m glad you’re here.”

Joe took a moment to breath and select the next words.

“Conor told me that you…”

He stopped himself. How could he say anything without making Jack uncomfortable or worse, making him freak out again? Jack just looked at him, but Joe could see that he understood what he was taking about.

 

* * *

  **_Jack_ **

Conor told Joe?! What did he tell him and how much? This was not the setting he wanted to tell Joe about this. Jack had wanted to tell Joe for a while, but how does one start that conversation? Conor shouldn’t have told Joe about it, though. It was his own story to tell.

“What did he tell you?”

Jack swallowed.

“Just that after you were at the hospital last year, your… nervousness about these things has gotten…”

Jack could see Joe struggle to choose the right words.

“…extreme.”

Jack still had his head above Joe’s so the older guy could see him and he stayed there in silence for a second. Conor hadn’t told Joe about the assault or about what had happened at the hospital that night. His secret was still his. Jack looked at the paramedics, busy writing and prepping stuff, probably keeping distance while this conversation was going on. Maybe it would be easier to go to the hospital with Joe knowing everything. Maybe he’d understand better, but Joe had his own problems. He looked at the legs again. They were covered by a thin sheath now, but the shape of the splint and the left foot turning placed kinda weird still testified that Joe was not fine.

“Jack?”

Joe cut into the silence.

“Are you okay… with me knowing I mean?”

Joe looked nervous. Like he had overshared.

“What else did he tell you?”

“Nothing. He was worried about your checkup and with the bruises on his arms after… I kinda knew it wasn’t only nervousness anymore.”

“He had bruises?”

Joe nodded. Jack remembered there had been some kind of a fight when the doctor came to the apartment, but Conor must have concealed the bruises afterwards. He felt his eyes were getting warm again and soon he couldn’t see clearly for the water pressing to escape.

“Jack. You don’t have to say anything.”

Jack blinked and a tear made its way out and ran down his cheek. Jack nodded. He put the mask back over Joe’s mouth and nose. He sat back and looked at Joe’s hand in his while he talked.

“I was raped.”

The silence in the ambulance got louder. Jack could hear Joe’s breathing change, like he was trying harder to control it, but he still didn’t look away from the hands.

“I didn’t remember, but it came back in flashes while I was at the hospital. I was passing out all the time and didn’t knew anything except that I had no control of the pain or anything… I wanted to tell you before but…”

Jack started crying. He put his forehead against Joe’s hand.

“Jack.”

The mask made it difficult to get sound through the sirens and the sobbing from Jack. Jack felt a hand on his back. He looked up at Paul. The paramedic reached in front of him and pulled Joe’s mask down. Joe didn’t say anything until Jack had put his head in the line of sight again.

“Jack. I’m sorry. Conor didn’t say anything. You know that, right?”

Jack nodded, tears still running down his face.

“I’m glad you felt like you could tell me. You are not going to be alone in the hospital. I’ll make sure of it. I promise.”

For a moment Jack had forgotten where they were headed. In a few minutes, he was going to be at the hospital again. Joe’s promise made it a bit better, but he knew it would be a struggle even if Joe was able to keep it.

Paul put Joe’s mask back on. Jack sat back and the rest of the ride was spent in silence.

 

* * *

  ** _Joe_**

As they got closer to the hospital, Joe could feel Jack’s hand squeezing tighter. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the color from Jack’s crying-red face disappear till his skin was sporting a gray tint and his eyes an empty look gazing into nothing. He had a job to do, but with the throbbing in his legs increasing and Conor being God knows where, he was not sure he was able to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read the whole story about Jack's experience the year before it's my very first fan-fiction and it's called Backstage.


	7. Slow down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe and Jack arrive at the hospital.   
> Joe is feeling guilty and responsible. A lot of hurt/comfort.

_Possible double fracture on right leg… …concussion… …open fracture… …left wrist and possible elbow… …no present indicators of neck or back injury… …signs of PTSD from a former event… …morphine, oxygen… …likely triggered by medical settings or personal… …currently stable._

* * *

**_Joe_ **

Joe didn’t notice much about the passing of information. He was holding on to Jack, who was now in a wheelchair, but still next to him. They were rolled into a room and a lot of people followed. Keith and the younger paramedic disappeared in the crowd and Joe didn’t even know if they were still in the room.

Someone shined a light in his eyes, and he squinted at the sudden intrusion. The mask on his face were replaced with a smaller contraption only going under his nose. Jack’s hand pulled his.

“No. I’m not leaving Joe. Let go of me!”

Jack was obviously scared and Joe held on tighter, pulling his hand closer to himself.

“Don’t touch him!”

Joe was screaming and if he still hadn’t been strapped to the stretcher he would have fought all of them off.

“Stop! All of you.”

A voice that was new to Joe, cut through the room and everything paused. The movement, the touching, the voices. Joe tried to look at the direction of the voice, but he was too confined to see anything.

“Anything life-threatening we need to take care of right now?”

“Nothing urgent.”

The voice came from a woman near Joe. She seemed sure in her case, so Joe found himself taking a breath of relief.

“Then let’s hold our horses for a sec. Let’s get him a bit more comfortable and maybe some room so they can breathe.”

The staff seemed confused. This was not a normal situation. They were probably used to everything going as fast as possible, and this pace was new to them. They all gathered slowly around Joe, though, and someone undid the belts holding him for the ride.

“Jack. Let go they need to lift him to the other bed. You can be with him after.”

The younger paramedic was apparently still here, and the older too; Keith’s head popped into Joe’s line of sight, and after a silent agreement, both boys loosened their grip. As soon as Joe was placed carefully on the bed, Jack’s hand found his again.

“Dr. Roberts and I got it from here. Thanks.”

The room emptied out, and the last ones to leave was the paramedics. Joe had no idea as to what just happened. In the room with them was the man who had been doing all the talking, the woman who answered him and a younger man holding a clipboard. Joe gathered from the uniforms that the younger must be a nurse or something and the two others the doctors.

“I’m Dr. Terrence. I thought you might need a calmer welcome. Can I take a look at your legs?”

He came closer and looked Joe in the eyes. He seemed sincere and the small crow’s feet at his eyes only made him appear more experienced. Joe nodded slightly. He was still wearing the neck brace and he was starting to feel claustrophobic, even with the other restrains removed.

The doctor removed the blanket he had over him and was handed a pair of scissors.

“Don’t worry, I’m only cutting your pants.”

As he started working the hand Joe was holding got tighter. Jack’s forehead landed on the side of the bed, and soon he heard the sound of someone being sick. The hand didn’t let go, it only squeezed his more.

“Jack?”

Joe could see the woman moving to Jack’s side. Helping him up to a sitting position again.

“Would you like to lay down.”

Joe couldn’t see Jacks response.

“It might help to lay down. You can still be with Joe.”

“No.”

Jack sounded tired.

“Jack, it’s fine. Lay down.”

Joe tried to help, but Jack didn’t want to and it didn’t seem like it was going to happen. Dr. Roberts gave him a tray of sorts and pulled a small chair over and sat down next to him. The nurse cleaned the area and then got back to taking notes from the doctor at Joe’s legs.

“Have you had any pain in your back or neck?”

Joe thought back to when he first woke up, when he was moved and the ride in the ambulance.

“No.”

“Okay. I’ll remove the color then, but you’ll have to lay completely still while I examine you.”

Joe froze making sure he was ready.

“Okay.”

The nurse and the doctor removed the plastic color slowly. Joe wanted to move and turn his head, it had been so long, but he didn’t. Joe could only just hear the woman sitting next to Jack explaining what was happening. The doctor moved his hand down Joe’s neck and upper back. The nurse lifting slightly. The experienced doctor moved Joe’s head to the left and then to the right. He saw Jack for the first time in what seemed like forever. He was sitting straight up in the wheelchair and the doctor was holding his other hand, carefully, it was blue and purple over the wrist, but the splint was apparently support enough for him not to be that bothered. He was still unbelievably pale.

“Just relax now, Joe. All is good.”

Joe turned his head to Jack again, but didn’t say anything. What was he supposed to say?

“I would like to get you to surgery before you need more pain medication, but we need x-rays first.”

Before Jack and Joe could answer he looked a Jack and continued.

“We need one of your arm too, so we just go together.”

As they started moving out of the room, to men rolling the bed and Dr. Roberts pushing the wheelchair next to him, Joe couldn’t help but wonder how, what he just experienced came to happen. Those doctors must have some serious power around here.

The x-ray room wasn’t big enough for all of them, but it had a window to a small waiting area and Jack seemed okay with being in there while Joe got his pictures taken. The other way around took a bit more coaching, but he managed as long as he could see Joe the entire time and he was able to remain seated.

Back in the room Dr. Terrence and the nurse left. Dr. Roberts stayed, though. She was mainly concerned about Joe’s pain, which was still under control, and about Jack. Jack seemed to me managing. He was calm, and had let go of Joe’s hand. He was till next to the bed though, not moving.

It wasn’t long before Dr. Roberts returned with two big brown envelopes. He examined the content and the female doctor joined him. He turned to Joe and she sat down next to Jack again.

“We need to get you to surgery; your leg won’t heal correctly on its own, and we need to do it now. I’ll get things started.”

With that the man left the room. Joe was not surprised. Keith had told him surgery was a possibility, but Jack’s hand suddenly back in his was a reminder of the promise he’d made earlier. For a second he had to ignore Jack and seek help, the doctors seem to understand but they didn’t know. Not really.

“D… Doctor Roberts?”

The woman moved in a bit closer. Joe was speaking quietly, as if that would prevent Jack from hearing him.

“Just Pam. What is it?”

The dark brown curls surrounded a compassionate and warm face. Joe almost didn’t want to drag her into this. She seemed too kind for working here and seeing all of these things every day.

“Pam… I…”

“Are you worried about the surgery? Dr. Terrence will explain everything.”

“No. It’s not that.”

“Then what, luv?”

“I… I can’t leave Jack. I promised he wouldn’t be alone. He can’t be alone.”

The words busted out of Joe and when the dam was gone he couldn’t stop.

“…his brother is not here. I’m supposed to be here now. I drove the car. I promised. It’s my responsibility…”

“Joe, stop. Take a breath.”

She moved her hand to the boy’s hands, still holding on tight to each other.

“Jack won’t be left alone. I’ll stay here.”

She started moving her hand in between the boy’s and slowly but surely, she was the one holding Jack’s hand.

“Jack?”

Joe was desperate for some kind of confirmation that this was okay, but Jack didn’t move or talk. He just looked at his hand, now in another’s.

“Jack. Are you okay?”

At this point Joe just wanted a reaction. Any reaction, but there was nothing.

“Don’t let him shut off, bring him back!”

Jack reacted at that. He looked up.

“I’m here.”

“Please still be here when I come back, okay?”

Jack nodded.

“Okay.”

When Joe was wheeled out of the door, however things took a turn. Jack stood up trying to follow. He didn’t get far though, his head was still hurting and making him dizzy when something happened fast, and he fell back in the chair. Joe saw Pam supporting him till he was secure.

“I can’t be here. I’m not supposed to be here.”

Jack was crying and his words became more unclear as he continued and as Joe was mowed away.

“…I need Joe or Conor. Where is my brother? Where is…? Is he okay? Tell me he’s okay. I need Conor…”

The door to the room closed and left Jack alone with Pam. Joe was crying silently as they moved him down the corridor and into the elevator.


	8. Going under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe is worried about Jack being alone and how Conor is doing, but soon he has to worry about himself.

**_Joe_ **

”He’ll be okay. Dr. Roberts knows how to help him.”

Dr. Terrence had placed a hand on Joe’s shoulder, as the bed stopped rolling in the elevator. Joe was not saying anything, didn’t make eye-contact. He just wept silently. He was looking beyond the wall while tears slowly mad the pillow damp. Dr. Terrence squatted down into his line of sight.

“Joe. We need to take care of you know. Thrust us. You are all whit the people who can help the best.”

Joe locked eyes with the middle-aged doctor. He knew the man was lying. Jack would be better off with people who knew him, but the word _all_ made Joe think of the last member of the trip.

“Where’s Conor?”

The doctor looked surprised for a second.

“He’s in the ICU. He was still unconscious when he got here, but last I checked he was stable.”

“ICU?”

Joe knew he had heard it before, maybe just on TV. A scene from a movie played before his eyes. It was a dark room, only a few screens lid up the scene with blue lights. A man with tubes and wires everywhere was laying paralyzed on a bed. It was a big man, a boxer or a soldier, Joe didn’t remember. Conor was way smaller and he would completely disappear under all the medical equipment.

“It’s intensive care. It’s nothing to be alarmed about. He just needs help with his breathing.”

Joe was still looking empty into the doctor’s eyes.

“Can’t Jack be with him?”

“I’m sure Jack will go see him as soon as its possible for both, but right now we really need to look after you.”

The door opened and they rolled out to yet another corridor, and then into a room with a lot of light and even more equipment. There was a padded table in the middle already surrounded by people in scrubs. They lifted a silent Joe to the table. His legs hurt but he only showed with a flinch by his eyes. Joe was processing the scene. It smelled like disinfectant and the dry air irritated his nose around the tube still giving him a supply of oxygen. The lamp above him wasn’t turned on yet, but Joe didn’t think anyone could need more lights anyway. A man in scrubs came to great him. He had a cap on in the same color, but his mask was still hanging around his neck so Joe could see the smile he was giving.

“I’m Dr. Brown. I’ll be your surgeon.”

“But, Terrence...?”

Joe was confused and suddenly he had a knot in his stomach. Was he going to be left alone with a new group of strangers? He was not sure how much of this he could handle.

“Dr. Terrence is not a surgeon, but he will stay in here and he will cast your other leg.”

Dr. Terrence came over to them.

“Might as well lessen the discomfort and do it while you out, right?”

Joe sighed with relief. Okay, he could do this.

“Do you want me to be here while you go to sleep?”

Dr. Terrence placed his hand on Joe’s shoulder once again.

“No. It’s okay.”

“I’ll go clean up, then. See you when you wake up.”

With that the familiar doctor vanished and Joe was alone in the very clean room with all of these clean people. He was dirty, he had changed to a gown while Jack had his x-rays taken, but he still felt out of place. He felt exposed and the thin blanket over him didn’t help much.

“Can you move your toes for me?”

Dr. Brown stood by his side. Joe studied his reaction as he moved his toes on both feet. The right leg felt heavy and it was throbbing, but he managed to move with no problem. The left leg was still a mystery, small bursts of electricity shot up above his knee as he tried to move, but he still couldn’t feel if he was moving or not. The doctor seemed satisfied though. He smiled slightly and nodded to himself, before turning to Joe.

“Looks good. Shouldn’t be a problem to fix.”

“Am… Did they move?”

“They sure did. I know you have trouble feeling it right now. Do you want to see?”

“Yes. Please.”

Joe stated to lift his head, but someone pushed him gently back down. Someone else came over with a small mirror. Joe was starting to wonder how many people were in this room. He looked in the mirror and saw his foot. It was there. It was whole and it looked like it used to, except for the dried blood in stripes down his ankle. He wiggled his toes and saw them move. It was weird because he still didn’t feel it. As the mirror was taken away he saw a glimpse of his shin and knee. It was quick, but the bandages didn’t hide all the blood. His stomach sunk and he felt all the blood leave his face.

“It’s okay. You just let me worry about that.”

The surgeon sounded confident and Joe did just see his toes move, just like he had been told. So he laid back and decided that he had to trust these people.

“Let’s get this of you, okay.”

It was a woman, Joe would probably had called her a girl if she wasn’t wrapped up in paper clothing and already wearing her mask. She couldn’t be more than five years older than him. She took away the oxygen-thingy, then moveed to his hand.

“You already have an IV, so we just use that one. How does that sound?”

She looked at him. He just looked back, gratefully. He didn’t have that big of a problem with needles but he was glad there was one thing less going on.

“Joe.”

The surgeon demanded his attention.

“We are moving your legs a bit, okay. Just want you to know before we do anything.”

Joe nodded and quite a few people gathered around his feet and lover legs. They touched his right leg and Joe held his breath. They didn’t lift it. Part of the table he was on moved and his leg were pulled away from the other. He only managed to take a few breaths before they started on the left leg. The burning came back, without Joe being prepared. He pulled his head to the side and pressed it violently into the thin patting. He didn’t have much air, so the shout he wanted to make ended up being a low growl instead. The girl grabbed his hand and held his head with the other.

“We’ve stopped. Just relax now.”

Joe had his eyes pressed closed hard and tried to control his breathing, but it was difficult. He really thought that pain would never come back.

“Does it still hurt, or has it stopped again?”

Joe opened his eyes and looked straight into the kind smiling eyes of the girl talking to him. He felt the wetness of paper under his face, and realized that tears were running down his face again. He rapidly tried to remove them with his free hand, the other occupied with an IV and the hand of her.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry. Are you lying comfortable now?”

She wiped his face with some paper handed to her. Joe nodded. He wasn’t in pain, and guessed that’s what she meant, but comfortable wasn’t the word he would choose. He was on his back with his legs spread apart, not much, but enough to make him feel more exposed. When they pulled the blanket up to his boxers, the layers of green paper they put over his thighs, didn’t help much either.

“Okay. All set.”

The voice was the surgeons and the woman, Joe had to call her a woman in this situation, started fiddling with his hand.

“I’ll give you something to sleep on now, Joe. I’ll be making sure everything is fine all the way.”

Joe made eye-contact with her and soon after felt the cold drugs moving up inside his arm. The girl… the woman came to his head and placeed a mask over his nose and mouth.

“Deep breaths, Joe.”

As the first sense of drowsiness came over him, he felt all control leave his body. He couldn’t move his hands properly, he tried but it was so slow. He could swear everyone was working in slow-motion and his head started to feel heavy. Now he couldn’t run, not that he could before, but he couldn’t fight, he couldn’t scream. I a few seconds he would have nothing to say, he would be in the mercy of total strangers. Panic sat in.

“N..no.”

He tried to remove the mask but someone took his hand, he could do nothing but to hold on to it, no fight left.

“Stop… N..no… c-can’t.”

A hand combed through his hair and the eyes of the woman moved in above his head.

“Shh… Joe. It’s okay. I get it. Just concentrate on breathing.”

“I… w-wont…”

“Joe, you have to. The doctors and I will take good care of you. Okay? Dr. Terrence is here now too. No one is leaving.”

Joe started to have trouble keeping his eyes open.

“Just sleep Joe. You’ll be fine.”

“I… I’ll… b-be… fine”

“Yes, you will.”

Joe was staring into the woman’s eyes a few more seconds. Nothing was said but she kept moving her hand through his hair until he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I'm going under for surgery, I panic. I'm fine until right before I get the medicine, and then it hits me: I'm not in control anymore. The first time I accidentally hit a nurse. I felt so bad, I sent her flowers afterwards. 
> 
> I decided to delay the realization with Joe til he had gotten the medicine, because I didn't want a fight-scene (in this chapter, who knows if it'll come later) .


	9. Tug of war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is alone with a doctor; The only thing that could make his fear worse.

**_Jack_ **

”I need Conor. I have to see him. He can’t be… No. Conor. Please. I want my brother…”

Jack was reduced to a shaking mess of tears and blurred words, that was directed at no one, but meant for everyone. Pam was still sitting in front of him, but he didn’t allow her to touch him anymore.

“Jack. I can call and hear how Conor is doing, but you need to calm down.”

“I want Conor. Please get Conor. He has to be alright…”

The doctor took a hold of his good hand. He struggled but this time she didn’t let go, forcing him to look at her.

“Breath. I’ll call to hear about Conor.”

Jack looked in to her eyes. He was shaking still and close to hyperventilating.

“I need you to slow your breathing, I can’t have you passing out while I’m on the phone.”

She still held on to his hand like it was the only secure link she had on him. Jack broke eye-contact and looked at his knees while concentrating about his breathing.

“I-I’m okay. I won’t pass out.”

That little sentence almost made him pass out from lack of oxygen.

“Just a few more, deep breaths.”

Pam was loosening her grip on his hand bit by bit, but Jack didn’t notice. He just made sure the next two breaths were as deep and even as possible. He didn’t quite succeed in any part.

“Call now. Please?”

He looked up at Pam and even though she didn’t seem like she fully trusted Jack to manage himself yet, she agreed and walked to a phone on the wall.

“Dr. Pamela Roberts for NSICU.”

She inspected Jack’s every move while she waited. There wasn’t much movement though. He was basically frozen in the wheelchair, only his breathing and tears made him look alive.

“Yes. Tanks. I’m seeking information about a Conor Maynard. I’m with his brother now…”

Jack could hear the person in the other end talking. The words didn’t come through but the mechanical rhythm of the speak and the long sentences, worried him. When Pam hang up the phone, she turned and smiled. He waited eagerly for her to say something as she moved towards him and sat down in front of him again. This time she pulled up a chair though.

“He’s stable.”

Jack knew that was a good thing, but it was nowhere near the amount of information he wanted. Pam smiled and took his hand again.

“He needs help with his breathing, because of the pain-medication they’ve given him. When that wears off he will be able to breath on his own again.”

“I want to see him… He’s alone.”

“He’s still unconscious, luv.”

It’s been too long. It’s not possible to be knocked out for this long. Jack went numb.

“Will he… When...”

“We don’t know Jack, but all the test and scans tell us that it looks good. We just have to wait.”

“I need to see him.”

Jack suddenly got his voice back.

“I don’t care if he’s… sleeping. I need to be with him. He needs me there.”

Jack was sitting up in the chair, making sure that his body-language supported the decision he had made.

“Okay Jack, but you can’t go in there in those clothes. You need to clean up and change…”

Jack had refused to change into a gown when Joe did. It would be the same as accepting that he was a patient, a thing he didn’t ever want to be again.

“…and we need to cast that wrist first, too.”

Jack looked at his wrist. It was a dark purple, almost black at some places. When he didn’t move it, it was only throbbing and not hurting that bad. He had used his energy for other things. Joe, Conor, his surroundings, protecting himself. Basically, he had used his energy to prevent having to deal with this. He did not want anyone to touch him when he couldn’t run, especially when he knew it was going to hurt.

“It’s okay. We already fixed it.”

His words were small.

“The splint is only temporary, Jack. It’s not supporting enough. It still hurts, don’t it?”

Jack shook his head, not fooling anyone. He pulled the good hand from the doctor and used his legs to push the chair back a few steps. Pam just sat there as if she waited for him to come back.

“It’s already been too long Jack. We don’t have to do anything else but cast it. It’s not that bad of a fracture. Your elbow is just bruised, a sling is enough.”

Jack stood up, again too fast for his head to follow and he ended up on knees and one hand. Protecting his left hand under his stomach. Pam stood up, but didn’t come closer. Jack turned to look at her and continued his escape on his bum and heels, scuffing himself into the far corner of the room. He pressed himself against the wall and pulled his knees to his chin. He still held the hand in question to his stomach, hidden from the world. He froze as the woman came closer.

“I’m not going to touch you.”

She stopped a few feet from him and sat down all the way. Bum against the floor. She didn’t indicate that she was in a hurry to go anywhere or to get Jack to go anywhere.

“Something happened to you right? You don’t have to say anything just listen for a sec.”

Jack starred at the floor between them, wondering what he could do to get out of this.

“I don’t need to know what happened. The records from last year is mostly sealed. I can only see the medications given and that your arm was broken. The only thing I need to know to help you, is what you are afraid of. Is it the pain?”

Jack contemplated for a second. It wasn’t really the pain. He had done stupid things with Conor and their friends when they were younger that hurt way more than this. He shook his head, slowly. He was still dizzy from the trip across the room and close to being sick again.

“Okay. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?”

“I…”

Jack couldn’t talk he just wept. He needed someone there. Joe had been so good and now he was taken from him. He needed Conor. Conor could make it alright, even when Jack lost all control.

“What is it Jack? You don’t have to censor yourself.”

“I… I need to move. I have to move away sometimes. I need to be able to stop.”

He still didn’t look up.

“Okay, Jack. We can do that. Do you want to do it here or should we get back to the chair?”

Jack looked up at the chair. Even though it had wheels, it was confining to him with the armrests and with the dizziness he would be more in control on the floor. He looked at Pam.

“Can we do it here?”

“We’ll figure it out. How about we start cleaning your face a bit. I’ll give you a mirror so you can do it.”

She left him alone, but not leaving the room, and returned with some water, a mirror and a few towels. Jack looked at himself, as she held up the mirror, he was not bleeding from his nose anymore, but the dried blood was still there. He washed his face and neck, glad to see that the warm water not only removed the blood, but also helped even out the marks from the tears and the red eyes. He still looked too tired though. The bags under his eyes and the white color of his skin didn’t change. When he was done Pam moved everything out of their way.

“Do you want me to remove this?”

She stood next to a table with drawers and shelfs under it. It was the only thing blocking Jack’s view over the room and the thing he had already wondered how much effort it would take to push away, if he’d had to run. He nodded and didn’t try to hide his gratitude for her understanding what he needed.

She found a small foot-stool with wheels, covered it with green paper and rolled it to Jack. Then she started gathering stuff in a plastic tub and on a tray. She stopped with all the paraphernalia in the middle of the room, and squatted down to Jacks line of sight.

“When you’re ready, not before. You can say stop any time.”

Jack looked at all the stuff and at her. She was not afraid of scaring him, but she didn’t either. He wanted to trust her, but in the back of his mind he was sure that in a few seconds he would be cornered or worse tied up. Then he would not be able to stop it, and that would make the pain unbearable. He looked over the room; he was in a corner, but the way he was facing would make Pam the one in the corner when they started. There were no more stuff blocking his way. Slowly but surely, he wrapped his splinted hand from his core and placed it on the green paper. Pam didn’t move until he looked at her and nodded.

The first few steps took an eternity. Jack pulled back every few seconds, even when she was only removing the splint, but she didn’t follow. She gave him the time he needed in every break and waited for him to place his arm back. Slowly Jack understood that she would stop if he told her to, so he didn’t have to remove his arm and inflict more pain to himself. When the first layers of the cast were done, the pain subsided and he didn’t need so may breaks.

“It’ll have to dry for a few minutes, don’t use it yet. Will you be okay here while I’ll get some clean clothes for you?”

Jack sat in the corner with his arm on the foot-stool still. He nodded and was actually sure he would be fine, as long as no one else came in here.

“Feel free to move around, but be careful, you have been sitting down for quite a while. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

She smiled and left. Jack stretched his legs, and moaned as the blood rushed back to his feet. He was almost ready to get up, when Pam came back in with a stack of blue and white clothes.

“Do you need help?”

“I think so.”

She took him by the right hand and pulled him slowly up, held him steady by the shoulders while he regained his balance. She pulled over the chair but he rejected it and went for the clothes.

“Easy now. Jack. Let me help you, so you don’t fall.”

She must have thought his balance was way off, because she insisted that he sat down and then sat down herself.

“Will you allow me to look into your eyes, with some light.”

Jack was confused. He was dizzy and had a headache but this was not the deal.

“I want to see Conor.”

“And you will. I’ll help you change, but I’d like to make sure you are okay first.”

“You can’t stop me from going. You promised.”

Jack turned her head away from the doctor and her tiny flashlight. What if she decided that he wasn’t well enough to go?

“We will go. I just need to make sure how careful we have to be. I’m not sure how much of your dizziness is from concussion and how much is from dealing with all of this. I still promise; We will go right after you’ve changed.”

Jack turned back and she turned on her light.

“Okay. Let’s get you changed and get outta here, but you have to stay seated in the chair.”

There wasn’t any room for argument and Jack started fiddling with his t-shirt. He was glad it was black otherwise it would have shown how much blood he had spilled from his nose. It probably wouldn’t be as much as Conor’s grey hoodie, though. He sped up his movements, but the cast made it difficult.

“It might be easier if we cut it.”

“No!”

He froze.

“I… um… the sound…”

“Okay, then at least let me help you.”

When he was out of his clothes a and in the gown and the pants, he was very grateful for, Pam found a dark blue sling for his arm. The feeling of being able to relax his elbow and wrist at the same time, revealed how much he had used his muscles to stiffen the arm. He was suddenly very tired in his whole body, but his head didn’t have time. He was going to see Conor and he had no idea what to expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have a hard time keeping my stories short. This chapter was supposed to be about seeing Conor too, but that will have to wait to the next since I had to drag this fear of Jack's out so much.  
> Sorry Jack


	10. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back together again, sort of. Jack get's some alone time with Conor and so does Joe.

**_Jack_ **

Jack sat in the wheelchair next to his brother. It was a slightly darker room, there were no sounds except for the beeping from a monitor and the hissing, pumping sound coming from the machine, filling Conor’s chest with air, in a rhythm that left no room for change. Conor was hooked up to at least three different machines besides the ventilator. Jack recognized the IV, but something was attached to his finger, more wires or cords made their way under the gown and a lot of stuff were attached to his head; his temples, his forehead and around in his hair.

Jack had been terrified when he first came into the room, but Pam had reassured him that everything, except the IV and the ventilator, was only for monitoring. The ventilator was the scariest part now. Jack couldn’t stop looking at the tube going into his older brother’s mouth. His chest raising too little and too much at the same time. It was all wrong. His brother could not be laying here like that. He didn’t even look like Conor. Maybe it was because his eyes were closed. Oh, how Jack whished for his brother to open his eyes and look at him.

“You can touch him. It’ll be fine.”

Jack had forgotten, Pam and the nurse caring for Conor were still in the room. He looked at Conor’s hand and then wrapped both his around it. His cast didn’t matter. Conor’s IV didn’t matter, it was secured with tape and a net of some sorts and the finger-thingy was on the other hand. He felt warm. What had he expected? For him to be cold?

_Jack. Get it together. He’s not dead._

He swallowed. It was the first time he’d allowed himself to even think that word. But he _was_ warm and it surprised him. Maybe Jack was the one who was cold.

“He might be able to hear you. Why don’t you let him know you’re here?”

Jack felt exposed. What would he say? This was stupid, he should be able to say something, it was his brother for God’s sake. He didn’t have any problems back in the car.

“Do you want to be alone?”

Jack nodded and the nurse checked a few things before she left.

“If you need anything, the nurses station is right outside, and don’t hesitate to pull that string if you feel the need. We’ll all come running, okay?”

She gestured at a red string hanging from the wall, just within reach. Then Pam left the brothers alone.

“Conor?”

Jack tried. It still felt weird and it was so silent he almost couldn’t hear it himself.

_C’mon Jack! This is Conor. Your friend since you were born. He basically pulled you from the fire last year. Get it together!_

“Hey. Conor. It’s Jack. I need you to wake up now.”

This time he talked louder but still calm, like he was trying to wake someone kindly. And he really was trying, but mostly he needed his brother to know that everything would be fine.

“I’m okay and Joe will be fine too. We need you to wake up and tell us you are fine. I need you to be awake when mom and dad gets here. I don’t know what to say to them… and Anna.”

Jack paused, as if he was waiting for an answer. Then he continued.

“Conor… you’re scaring me. Please wake up.”

Jack put his head on Conor’s upper arm, it wasn’t a comfortable position, but he needed to be close to his brother and he couldn’t bear to look at him anymore.

“I’m here big brother.”

He closed his eyes and stayed there. He didn’t know how long but he didn’t sleep. Jack just sat there, waiting, for what he didn’t know.

The first Jack noticed was a jolt of movement under him. He sat up and looked at Conor who was already tossing backwards into the mattress. The sounds were the worst; short snorts followed by longer and deep hissings.

_He’s suffocating. He can’t breathe!_

Jack stood up but froze. In the confusion of his brother shaking violently in front of him he forgot all about the red string on the wall. It didn’t matter though. Within seconds, two nurses came bursting through the door and to Conor’s aid. Pam was soon to follow, but she came to Jack.

“I’m fine help my brother!”

Jack pushed her away and remained standing.

“Conor’s okay. He started breathing on his own. They are helping him.”

As she said it Conor seemed to be back to his earlier self. This time how-ever he didn’t have the machine breathing for him. Jack starred as his brother’s chest. It was moving, this time more naturally. The tube was still in his mouth, but not connected to anything and Jack could hear the air passing through it.

“Is he really okay.”

One of the nurses turned around.

“He’s breathing on his own. We’ll take the tube out in a few minutes when we know it’s gonna last.”

She smiled and nodded to the other nurse who left the room. Pam pushed the chair up to Jack but he refused. He stepped closer to Conor and took his hand again. Pam sighed and remained behind him with the chair.

A few minutes went by in silence. The other nurse had gotten the Doctor, who was assigned to Conor. He had been in, checked on him and given the all-clear for them to remove the tube if he held a certain oxygen level for ten minutes more. Jack hadn’t gotten all the details, just the important ones. He was still standing, not using energy for anything else but to keep an eye on his brother.

“I’ll take the tube out now. Are you okay to stand?”

The nurse moved over to Conor, but looked at Jack. Jack just nodded. She then turned her attention to the unconscious boy in the bed and tilted his head slightly more backwards. Then she pulled it out. It wasn’t as thick at Jack had expected, but a lot longer. Conor didn’t react. Maybe a few breaths were faster right after but Jack wasn’t sure. The nurse put a small tube under Conor’s nose, with two small tubes only just entering the nose.

“Is he okay?”

Jack’s words were almost a whisper and he sounded scared of the possible answer.

“This is a good thing Jack.”

Pam turned him a bit so she could see his face and if he chose he could see hers. See that she was sincere.

“He’s getting better.”

Jack looked at her. Searching for deceive as he didn’t find any, he relaxed. His body went numb, his sight was the first to go then his knees. He didn’t feel the strong arms catching him and guiding his fall towards the wheelchair. He didn’t notice the hands holding his head as others pushed him out of the room. 

* * *

  **_Joe_ **

“Welcome back. Everything went good. Wake up now and I’ll be back to talk to you.”

Joe was groggy, couldn’t open his eyes properly yet. How did they even know he was awake? His throat hurt a bit and his mouth was dry, but mostly he was tired, he just wanted to sleep.

“Joe. You have to wake up. Take a deep breath for me.”

He realized he’d forgotten to breathe. He took a deep breath. It felt good, but if he could just sleep some more.

“Again Joe. Breathe. And can you open your eyes, just for a second?”

Joe was getting annoyed, why wouldn’t his body just breathe without him telling it to? He took another deep breath and then another. It started to work, autopilot set in. He concentrated on his eyes, trying to open them. He squinted against the sharp light, and gave up. What the hell was going on? He thought back; the bright lights, the smell of disinfectant… his deep breaths turned in to sharp shallow ones.

“I’ll be fine… I’ll… fine”

“Joe. It’s over. Open your eyes.”

The voice was calm and now he recognized it as the woman from earlier.

“I’m fine?”

“You’re fine Joe. Everything went as planned. Wake up now.”

Joe opened his eyes and it seemed like the lights had been turned slightly down. He was able to orientate himself a bit. He was in a smaller room. One side was only a curtain, but there were no sounds from the behind it, so he figured it must have been a side-room to the surgery room. The doctor came in to talk to him and explain everything. He had to tell Joe his name again, but reassured him that that was nothing out of the ordinary. His leg would take some months to heal and the first few weeks he would have to stay at the hospital, because of the metal rods holding everything in place. Dr. Brown asked if he wanted to see the leg but Joe really didn’t. He just wanted to know if he was still moving his toes. The doctor accommodated and lifted the blanket to see Joe’s feet. He didn’t have to say anything for, even though it was a dull and sluggish sensation, Joe actually felt his toes move. On both feet.

When the doctor left, Joe leaned back into the pillow and closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his one cheek. Then he sat up with a jolt.

“You okay? Are you hurting?”

A nurse came to his side.

“No. Jack! Where’s Jack?”

“I was wondering how long you would be awake before asking about him.”

Dr. Terrence came over with a pillow, and the nurse helped him elevate the head-end of the bed. Joe was sitting almost up the entire way. He had been laying down since he’d gotten out of the car and it was an amazing feeling to be able to see more than the sealing and the people right beside him. Dr. Terrence was smiling as he sat down.

“You’ve just woken up. You need some rest. I’ll have to ask around to see where Jack is right now, but I thought we could take a detour first.”

Joe _had_ just woken up, but this was more than confusing to him.

“What? Where? I just want to find Jack.”

“How about we go see Conor and then I can locate Jack while you’re there?”

Joe’s heart sunk. He wanted to see Conor, but had no idea what to expect. Was he even awake? It did seem like the best place for him to wait for Jack though.

“How is he?”

“Last I heard, is that he’s breathing on his own now.”

“Okay. I wanna go.”

 -

When they finally got Joe’s bed maneuvered through the corridors and elevators and to the NSICU they were met by Pam who was standing by the nurse’s station.

“Where’s Jack?”

By now Joe was entirely awake even with all the painkillers running through his system.

“He’s sleeping. He… passed out.”

Joe's eyes widened.

“It was exhaustion and probably stress. He woke up acting frantic so we gave him something to help him calm down a bit. He’s been sleeping for about 20 minutes now. Do you want to see him?”

They rolled Joe down the corridor and stopped next to a window. Pam went inside and pulled up the blinds just enough so Joe could see inside. Jack was on a couch in a waiting room or break room, there was a man in pale blue pants and shirt sitting in a chair next to Jack. It was dark in there, only lit up by the light over the man’s book, Joe could see Jack’s wrist wrapped in a cast and a sling supporting it close to his chest.

Pam closed the blinds and came out.

“He’s just sleeping. That man is on a break, he’s studying and has nowhere better to be. His words, not mine.”

“How about we go see Conor now?”

Dr. Terrence moved the bed to the next door. Jack was sleeping next door to Conor’s room?!

“Pam’ll get you when Jack wakes up. That’s if he doesn’t run in to see you first.”

Joe smiled as they moved through the door to Conor’s room. That quickly subsided though, when he saw Conor. His friend who was always so entertaining and energetic, the one who always could make him laugh, was now lying still, wrapped in blankets only covering tubes and wires coming from his limp body. Joe felt his stomach turn into knots, and then there was a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Dr. Terrence.

“It looks worse than it is, trust me.”

He moved the bed over so Joe could reach Conor’s one leg. It wasn’t easy to get the two boys close with all the stuff in the room.

“Will you be okay on your own?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Truth be told Joe was happy to be alone with Conor. It was silent in the room. Well, there was the buzzing and the beeping but there were no voices, no one running around and no panic. Except for the panic inside Joe, not big, but enough that it was gnawing at the back of his mind. Enough that he couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

“Conor. I’m sorry.”

The words came easy for Joe.

“I should have seen the car, maybe if it wasn’t that early. I dragged you guys along. I- I told Jack that you told me. It was you needing to ventilate and you came to me. I promised I would never tell him. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. He was so scared. I let you down, Jack too. I promised him he wouldn’t be alone and I left him. I can’t do this. He needs you. He needs his brother.”

Joe squeezed Conor’s leg above the knee. His bed was placed so he had his feet next to Conor’s head, it meant that he could see Conor but he couldn’t reach farther than Conor’s hip, and with Conor’s hand resting on his stomach he couldn’t hold it. About half an hour went by before Joe broke the silence again.

“Conor. You have to wake up before Jack does. If he comes in here again…”

Joe tried to sit up a bit more to reach Conor’s hand, but were surprised as it reached his first. It wasn’t strong but Conor held on to him. Joe almost stopped breathing.

“Hey, man. You awake?”

There was no answer, but soon more movement were present. Conor’s hand left Joe’s and moved to his own face. He pulled at the oxygen-tube and when that came somewhat lose he started fiddling frantically with the IV. The thing on his finger was already hanging by the side of the bed. Joe reached up and pulled the red string, which had been pinned to the mattress within Joe’s reach.

“Conor. Stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

Conor didn’t seem to be awake. Joe pulled the string again and tried to grab hold of Conor’s hand but it was out of reach. A doctor and a nurse came running in.

“He grabbed my hand and he just… He…”

“It’s okay. Some people do this. They are confused when they start to wake up.”

The nurse pulled Joe’s bed away and he couldn’t really see what was going on. Conor was still not awake, he could see that, but he still fought with the IV and the doctor. The nurse brought over some grey things, that looked like small belts.

“Are you tying him up?!”

“Just his wrists. It’s for his own safety and we’ll take them off as soon as he’s fully awake.”

Joe didn’t like it. Conor looked scared even when his eyes were closed. They checked that the IV was okay and pushed something in it. Then they attached the other things to him again.

"Conor. Relax. It's okay. You're safe here."

Joe tried calming Conor down, but it didn't seem to help. Dr. Terrence came in as the others left.

“It might still take a while, do you want to lie down?”

The doctor pulled the bed onto Conor’s left this time and they were now head to head. Joe couldn’t see Conor’s face while seated so he nodded. Thinking that the doctor very well could have done that on purpose, but he didn’t care because now he could hold Conor’s hand. Conor was still fighting the restrains but it seemed like it helped him calm down a bit with Joe holding his hand.

“You need to get Jack in here.”

Joe stopped Dr. Terrence in the doorway, as he was about to leave.

“Jack is still sleeping. It could very well take another hour before Conor is awake enough to talk.”

“He needs to be here. Go wake him up.”

This was the first time Joe had made demands like that. The middle-aged doctor looked surprised.

“Joe…”

“No. Jack needs to be here. Conor would want him here. If he wakes up and they are not together Conor will be even more confused and Jack will hate himself.”

“Listen…”

The doctor tried. Joe could see Pam listening outside the room. Joe was angry. He saw the two doctors exchange looks. It was looks of pity for all of them, he thought.

“…it will take a long time before he wakes up.”

“I don’t CARE!”

Pam nodded and went into Jack’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four days of bed-rest, really makes a story come along. The last chapter will be up today or tomorrow. Let me know in the comments how you like it so far.


	11. Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three boys aren't the only one affected by this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said nr. 11 would be the last one, but I made this short one and I will go deeper into another scene, than I thought I would, so the last will be nr. 12. Sorry/not sorry.

”I. Don’t. CARE!”

There weren’t many people in the room, but the ones who were there were trying their best not to be too obvious about looking. It didn’t seem to matter, though. She kept going.

“I don’t care, if he’s tired or even asleep. It’s been hours and I need to see him now! He doesn’t even need to see me. Just let me see that he’s okay. He has to be okay. I need to make sure…”

“Easy So. You are talking yourself into a panic-attack.”

Alfie dragged Zoë to his chest, and for a moment it seemed like she calmed down.

“I won’t. Alfie.”

Her voice was raw from screaming at the nurse, who was lucky enough to have been assigned the front of the emergency room. She didn’t look like it was anything out of the ordinary though. Then Zoë pushed herself free from Alfie’s embrace.

“You know what?! I will.”

She turned to the nurse.

“I’ll have a major panic-attack right here and you’ll have to let me see him to make it stop!”

She turned to her startled boyfriend. She had never used her attacks to gain anything. It was always him running around getting help and her apologizing for the inconvenience.

“Alfie…”

She had tears in her eyes, and he could see she wasn’t far from fulfilling her promise.

“I have to see him. I have to see with my own eyes that he’s okay.”

“I know, sweetie. But we have to wait.”

He pulled her in again.

* * *

**_Joe_ **

Jack had come in the room with them, he had been looking at Conor for some time when he’d started swaying and Pam had asked him to lay down in the bed she had brought in. He’d refused and when Joe had seen the terror still in the younger boy’s eye’s he’d offered that he could lay next to him. Jack had been confused and Pam didn’t think it was a good idea for Joe to be sharing a bed when his legs were still healing, and taking up a lot of the space in the bed. Joe had insisted that if it was the only place where Jack could lay down and feeling safe and still be in the room with them, it was no problem for him to share.

Conor had calmed down. The drugs they had given him didn’t make him sleep like before, so Joe could still feel the grip his friend had on his hand and the infrequent jolt when he tried to move so he could pull something like the IV out. The restraints were preventing him from doing it, though and with Joe talking to him, he quickly calmed down again every time.

On the opposite side of Joe, Jack crawled into his bed and laid down next to him. He kept his distance. Joe didn’t know if it was because he was afraid of hurting him or if he felt it a bit uncomfortable.

“C’mere.”

Joe lifted his arm and made room for the younger boy. He pulled him in so Jack’s head was on his shoulder and he was spooning Joe’s side. It wasn’t long before Joe could feel the boy shaking slightly and the wet spot on his hospital-gown indicated that Jack was crying. Joe didn’t say anything. He just moved his hand calmly over Jack’s back and wished for Conor to wake up and make it stop. Eventually Jack feel asleep with his broken hand across Joe’s torso.

-

Pam came in the room, quietly, and she didn’t go far.

“Jack’s sleeping. Can’t you come back?”

Joe whispered, so quietly, he wasn’t even sure she could hear it.

“I’m not here for that. How are you feeling?”

She whispered too but came closer.

“Okay. I guess. It doesn’t hurt.”

He looked at his legs. They were covered by a blanket but the right was definitely in a cast from his toes to mid-thigh. The left one was a bit more difficult to figure out. He had been told he had metal pins in it and they were sticking out of his skin, but no surgery was needed to remove them. He was confused.

“Do you want to see?”

Joe looked at Jack. He was heavy on his shoulder and hadn’t reacted to them talking. Joe nodded and lifted his head so Pam could place an extra pillow under it. She lifted the blanket, careful not to touch Jack, and Joe could see his leg elevated by some small mattresses. It was yellow but the white pads around the pins were stained too, so it must have been from the disinfectant. He was just happy that it wasn’t red anymore. The little white pads weren’t fooling anyone. Joe knew that the pins were going in his skin and all the way to the bone. It was weird to look at mostly because it didn’t hurt. Almost in the center of it all, in the middle of his shin there was a bigger bandage. It must have been where the bone came through. Dr. Terrence had told him about that.

“It looks good.”

Pam laid the blanket down again.

“Now, are you cold? I can get you another blanket.”

Joe just shook his head, but looked at Jack. He was sleeping now but he would wake up too soon if he got cold.

“Okay. Are you comfortable, or would you like me to move Jack to the bed now?”

Joe held on a bit tighter. After Jack had fallen asleep he’d had to hold in place so he wouldn’t fall out of bed, and his arm was getting tired. He shook his head at the doctor. She nodded but found a few more pillows. She pulled up the bar on the side of the bed and placed the pillows between it and Jack’s back, then she removed Joe’s hand and placed it on the pillows instead. Jack were still sleeping and hadn’t moved.

“Better?”

“Thanks”

She pinned the red string to the pillow next to Joe’s hand.

“Joe, I came in here to see if you were awake. Your sister is here. Now, she can’t come in with Conor still waking up, but you can see her if you’re up for it.”

Joe looked at the door. He was just able to see it but it was closed. He nodded and swallowed and tried to suck the water back into his eyes before it became tears. Pam went and pulled up the blinds. On the other side of the glass was Zoë who quickly put a hand against the window. Alfie was right behind her. Looking like he was ready to catch her if she fell. Joe lifted his hand and waved and actually succeeded in pulling of a smile. Zoë smiled back, she pointed at him and then made a thumbs up. He understood and made the same sign, while mouthing _I’m Okay._ Zoë hugged Alfie but neither of them took their eyes of the three boys.

“Is there anything you want me to tell them?”

Pam whispered from the side of the window.

“Tell them tanks and that I’ll see them after Conor is awake… and tell my sister she should sleep, she looks tired.”

Pam smiled and closed the blinds and the room was again left in dimmed light.

“May I suggest you do the same?”


	12. Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conor wakes up to a world of confusion, pain and fear, both his own and that of his friend and brother.

**_Conor_ **

He couldn’t move his arms. He had tried for a long time now, how long, he didn’t know. What he did know was that his feet were heavy, so was his head, his throat was sore and his mouth was dry, there was something around his head and it was cold under his nose. Every time he tried to move someone would talk to him, calming him down, even though he couldn’t hear the words clearly. He started to realize that his hands were tied to something, but why? There was a hand in his. He held on tight, because it could be connected to the voice, growing more familiar every minute, and he was scared to lose that.

He had been lying still for some time now, not trying to remove whatever was on his hands or face. He listened and he could hear someone breathing. He squeezed the hand and it squeezed back. He used all his energy to try and open his eyes, it took a long time and all he managed were a small crack, still letting in too much light. He tried again and this time he managed to hold them open a bit longer.

When he finally was able to see the room he was in, he didn’t move. The sounds of beeping and buzzing, the florescent lights and the smell of thing’s being cleaned way too often. A hospital? What? Why? It had been a good morning… suddenly he remembered the feeling of being pushed to the side and the sight of a brick wall coming toward the side window. A car accident, and now he was in a hospital. Joe and Jack?

He tried to speak but the first only came out as a breath. His mouth was so dry. He tried again.

“Ja… Jack?”

This time it came out as more of a whisper. The hand grabbed harder on to him.

“Hey. You awake?”

It was only a whisper but it sounded familiar.

“Jack?”

“It’s Joe. Jack’s right here.”

“He can’t be here. Jack can’t be in a hospital.”

“Conor. It’s okay. Jack is fine. How are you?”

Conor turned his head and looked at the boy next to him. He was able to see a bit more clearly now. Joe was lying in a bed next to him. He squinted some and noticed a head of light hair on Joe’s chest.

“Is he really okay?”

“He is.”

Joe pulled the red string behind Jack’s back and then he moved his hand to the younger brother’s shoulder, shaking it a bit.

“Jack, wake up.”

The blonde head moved slowly and then the whole body tensed up. Joe squeezed him tight.

“Relax Jack. We’re fine. Conor’s up.”

Jack appeared to relax by Joe’s words and Conor recognized the tone, and figured that Joe was the one who had been talking to him too. Jack looked at his older brother and revealed that he had developed a black eye, a bit of blue on the side of his nose indicated that he too had hit his head in the crash. He could only see the upper body of his baby-brother, the cast on his arm resting on Joe’s stomach. Jack didn’t seem hindered in his movements but Conor couldn’t see him as his lover body was hidden behind the big pile of pillows and blankets that must have contained Joe’s legs.

“What happened to you?”

Jack was still a bit out of it, he worked un getting seated so he could see Conor properly. Joe smiled at Conor and shifted a bit so Jack could gain balance.

“You have been out for almost eight hours and you want to know how _we_ are?”

Had it been that long. Eight hours!

Someone came in the room. A woman came to Conor’s side.

“Good to finally see your eyes open.”

She smiled at him. He had no idea what to say. Was he expected to say anything at all? It didn’t seem like she was bothered with not getting an answer. She checked a some of the screens around him, and turned off a few.

“Are you in pain?”

“My head… Maybe.”

His voice was still only a whisper.

“Do you feel up for drinking some water? Then maybe you can describe it for me?”

Conor accepted the straw against his lips and made sure the water made it all the way round the dry mouth before he swallowed.

“It’s mostly my forehead. The left. It’s throbbing. But my whole head is sore.”

“You hit your head quite hard and you have a wound there. It’s all patched up, but it will be sore for a while. I’ll give you some more for the pain and the doctor is on his way to see you.”

Conor felt the eyes of the two other boys studying his every move. Had he knocked his head so bad that he’d been out for so long? What did that mean? Why was he tied up? Was it because he was hurting someone or maybe himself? Was his head okay? His feet and legs were still heavy and hard to move. Were they okay? Thoughts of brain damage and paralysis came to mind. He looked at Joe who seemed to pick up on his insecurity and confusion.

“Conor. You’ll be fine. I’m sure of it. They haven’t talked about anything bad.”

Before the nurse could help, the doctor came through the door, and she just wrote a few things and handed over the clipboard to the man, moving to take her place. The doctor placed the clipboard and some other papers on a table and turned to Conor.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Harrison, but I go by Harry around here.”

The doctor looked like he’d been running around the hospital for an entire triple shift and he seemed busy, but he wasn’t in a hurry to get out there and he had time to smile to Conor. He was a small man, even when standing his face weren’t more than a few feet over Conor’s bed. He had dark hair, cut very short, probably to hide the fact that he was going balled. His glasses were small and had no frame which allowed Conor to see the smile spreading to the man’s eyes.

“Are you ready to take these off?”

The man picked up Conor’s hand and shoved him the belt-cuff which were holding him in place.

“Yes… but…”

“We had to restrain you. You were confused and tried to take out your IV. It was just so you weren’t hurting yourself, but I trust that you are okay without them now?”

Conor nodded. Trying to understand.

“What… why…”

Conor stopped himself. He knew what happened, he knew why he was in a hospital.

“Was I in a coma?”

“No not really. Let me test a few things and then we can talk. I’d like you to be a bit more awake first. It’s nothing bad… the test’s or the talk.”

Conor relaxed and let the doctor remove the other cuff too. He still didn’t let go off Joe, though. The test was mostly fine. Just lifting his arms and pushing with his feet. The doctor seemed satisfied with everything. The light in his eyes had hurt when Harry had looked in them but he said that it was to be expected. Harry still didn’t seem worried, and it made Conor feel at ease that Joe must have observed the same as the grip on his hand had loosened slightly for every test. Jack was still looking closely and following every move by Conor, but he had laid his head back down to Joe’s chest again. Conor hoped that with Joe relaxing more and more, Jack might be able to sleep some more soon. He could see he needed it. Joe did too, but he was happy to have at someone there with him.

“Everything is as it should be, Conor.”

The doctor pulled over a chair and sat down.

“Now, you weren’t in a coma. When you hit your head something inside started bleeding. Nothing severe and it stopped with help from a little medication. It was the blood and a bit of swelling taking up space in there, that prevented you from waking up in the first place.”

“So, my brain is okay now?”

“It is. The swelling and blood is almost completely gone. Think at it, as a bruise they dissolve too. It wasn’t that big.”

Conor started to understand but the time he had been out was still weird, he was starting to remember people talking to him. Someone he didn’t know, Joe and maybe Jack too. Some of the sentences started to come back.

“How long...?”

“Just over seven and a half hours, but some of that time was from medicine too, mostly painkillers. The main problem was that you were showing signs of pain, and we couldn't have you moving around semi-conscious so the paramedics had to drug you to get you here safe. That’s why your throat is sore, you had a tube to help you breathe for most of the time.”

It made more sense now; his throat, his head and forehead. The feeling off heaviness. With all that drugs in his system he was entitled to feel tired. Conor seemed satisfied with the explanation, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to remember it all later. Thankfully Joe was awake and clearly following the conversation. He broke in at the first sign of silence.

“He will be fine, though. Right?”

“He will make a full recovery. Just like I was told you will.”

He smiled at Joe and then looked at Conor again.

“You have some great friend’s here. You know that?”

Conor was gathering that Joe had been quite the man of the day. He remembered more from what Joe had told him too.

“I’m starting to see that.”

“Do you need anything from me now?”

“No. I’m okay. Thank you.”

“Just call if you need anything.”

He managed to send a smile to the boys while he rushed out the door.

“Feeling a bit better?”

Joe asked Conor. Whispering. Conor looked over. Jack was almost sleeping again. He just nodded. However, when he was sure Jack was sleeping he looked at Joe. He wasn’t. Why wouldn’t Joe sleep? Conor could see his friend's face being dark and numb from tiredness but still he had his eyes open.

“Joe?”

“Yeah.”

The response was quick, but silent. None of them wanted to wake up Jack.

“Why aren’t you sleeping? Are your legs hurting?”

“No…”

Joe looked down at his legs and moved his toes a little.

“…I just… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to make sure you and Jack were okay first.”

“Were okay. You can sleep now.”

A few minutes went by where none of them said anything, but Joe was still starring at the ceiling. Conor didn’t know if this were the right time, but Jack was still sleeping so there were just the two of them to hear.

“Joe?... I heard what you said… you know, when I was sleeping.”

Joe’s hand was still in Conor’s but Conor felt it twitch, like Joe was insecure if he should take it away, so Conor held on tight.

“Joe?”

“You heard everything?”

Joe sounded scared. His whisper was almost not audible.

“Joe. I told you about Jack because I needed to talk to someone. It was a secret, but you kept it till it was necessary to use it. It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

Joe didn’t say anything, but Conor could hear and feel the self-blame from the other bed.

“What did Jack say when you told him?”

“He told me why he was in the hospital and about the blackouts and flashbacks. He said that he believed me when I said you didn’t tell me about that… I- I promised him…”

“You promised him he wouldn’t be alone, and as I see it he wasn’t. He was with someone all the time. You made sure of that, and he’s okay now. Joe, look at him.”

Joe looked at the sleeping boy. The head was rested securely on Joe’s upper arm and the broken arm laid across his chest.

“Does that look like someone who hates you or even dislike you the slightest?”

Conor felt the older boy hold on tight again. Joe looked at him. Was his eyes watering? Maybe…

“No, it doesn’t… thanks. I was just scared to come between you too. Like it’s a brother’s thing.”

Conor busted out laughing. Jack shifted a bit in his sleep and the older brother silenced his laughs. Joe didn’t seem to get the irony of it all, so as soon as he could breathe easy enough to form a whisper again he turned to the confused boy.

“Do you see yourself? Right now?”

Joe must have been more tired than he looked, because he still didn’t get it.

“You are literally _between_ us. You have been holding it all together, man...”

A smile formed slowly on Joe’s face.

“… and about the brother thing; I think you’ve made the club.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to write a chapter with the narrator connected to Conor. I've been looking forward to this one.  
> Please let me know if you liked it, I love comments.
> 
> I'm contemplating making a chapter more. Just wrapping it up, including some friends and family. What do you think?


	13. Tables turned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are going home from the hospital, but not at the same time. Eventually they all end up in Zoë and Alfie's care, but the emotional messes they are, they have to figure out between themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. There will be no more ad-on's, so enjoy.

Who would had thought it would be difficult to get Jack out of a hospital?

The three boys had spent the night in the same room and eventually they had gotten Jack to sleep in his own bed. The day after he was cleared to go home and Zoë had offered that he could stay with her and Alfie. They had the room for all three of them, when needed. Jack had refused to leave Conor and Joe until Caspar had offered his spare room and promised, that they would go and see the two others every day.

Conor and Joe had shared a room the following few days, until Conor was cleared too. He too had refused to leave; saying that Joe shouldn’t be there alone. Joe had told both him and Jack to go and get everything ready at Zoë’s and Alfie’s till he got there. So now they were in the car on the way to Brighton and Joe was still in the hospital for two more days, until he could manage with slightly less serious painkillers.

* * *

**_Jack_ **

Alfie were driving and Zoë was in the passenger seat. Jack could see her looking back at his older brother from time to time. She didn’t say anything. All four had been silent since they had said their goodbyes with Caspar and Joe at the hospital. Jack almost felt guilty taking Conor from Joe, even though it wasn’t his choice and he knew that Caspar would be visiting every day.

He looked at his brother, who were looking out the window. He sat straight up and down and his hands were holding on to each their own knee. Jack put his hand on Conor’s one hand.

“You okay?”

Conor looked like he was pulled from a nightmare. His eyes staring at his little brother were dark and Jack didn’t get to see the light blue in there before Conor looked out the window again.

“Conor?”

“Yeah… it’s just. The car you know.”

Jack nodded to himself. When he and Caspar had gotten in the uber to go home three days before, he had almost been sick all over the car. Caspar had been good though. He had made him think of something else. Talking about what they would do at his place and how Conor and Joe were doing.

“Joe seemed better today.”

“I think he is…”

Conor lowered his shoulders a bit and Jack felt his hand relax.

“…he went to the bathroom by himself this morning. The other times he had to have help lifting him in and out of the chair.”

“That’s an image to have printed in my mind.”

Conor looked at his brother. He smiled but seemed serious.

“He’ll kill me if he ever knows I told you.”

Jack laughed.

“I’m sure he will… I’m not telling.”

“Me neither.”

Alfie answered from the driver’s seat. Jack had forgotten there were four people in the car and by the looks of Conor’s widened eyes, still filled with laughter, he had too. Zoë still hadn’t said anything, so Jack turned to her in his brother’s behalf. 

“Zoë?”

“Oh. I’m deleting images. In a minute, I won’t even have heard that.”

The boys laughed while Zoë closed her eyes and shook that part of the conversation of her.

* * *

**_Conor_ **

The guestroom was already made ready for the brothers when they arrived at the house. Joe would stay in the office. They had an extra bed in there for when Alfie worked late, or when one had to get up very early for a flight and the other had come in late. In addition, it was on the main level and close to the bathroom.

It was already dinnertime when they got there and Conor was tired, so he had asked if it was okay for him to go lie down while dinner got ready. Alfie had said that he didn’t need to ask, he just do what he needed to do, and then he had answered Jack’s look with “You go too. I’ll get you when we eat.”

The king-size bed was more than big enough for them to get comfortable. Conor hadn’t been alone with his brother since before the accident and now they were both lying at their backs looking at the ceiling. He didn’t even know where to start. As far as he knew Jack didn’t know that he had talked with Joe about what had been said between Joe and Jack in the ambulance. Conor didn’t know if Jack was okay with him telling Joe about his anxiety. Jack was the one who broke the silence.

“Are you sleeping?”

“No. I’m… I’m just thinking.”

Conor could feel the bed jump a bit from the short laugh Jack let out.

“Are you sure your head are ready for that?”

“Ha. Funny. You really had a great few days at Caspar’s, didn’t you?”

Conor knew he had. Jack had looked better day for day. I must have been good staying with someone who only fussed about him if he asked.

“Yeah. We just relaxed, played videogames and ordered in…”

Conor could practically hear the wheels turning in his brother’s head.

“What, Jack?”

“Was it okay to be at the hospital for so long?”

“It was fine. I missed the whole first day, remember...?”

It had been okay. Him and Joe had been sleeping a lot, and with the daily visits from parents, Anna and Caspar and Joe, there hadn’t been much time they had to kill and Joe had been there for that part.

“…besides Joe were there. I’m sure it was like at Caspar’s… only cleaner.”

The silence spread again. Joe was there alone now. Caspar would come, but him and Jack would stay here. Conor wasn’t allowed to make the trip, even if he thought he could manage, which he didn’t at the moment. Zoë would probably go, but still, he would be alone a lot.

“He’s okay there alone, isn’t he?”

Jack sounded worried.

“He is the only one that would be. Besides it’s only for two days.”

Conor believed what he had told Jack, but it had still been difficult to leave him. He took a big sip of air, and looked at Jack.

“Zalfie is probably ready with dinner soon, but I need to ask you something first. I can’t concentrate about anything else before I know that we are okay.”

Jack sat op on the bed. He still had a blue and yellow ring under his left eye indicating the edge of the shiner decorating his face just a few days earlier. He supported himself with the arm not in a sling and looked curious down on his older brother.

“Why wouldn’t we be okay?”

Conor swallowed and continued.

“You know. I told Joe about your panic about the whole hospital and doctor thing… I know Joe told you in the ambulance.”

Conor stopped and waited for Jack’s response. It felt like a long time, Jack seemed to be thinking it over in silence, then he looked at Conor.

“I’m happy you told him. If he hadn’t been there and knew about my fears I might had made it a lot harder on myself…”

Jack paused as Conor sat up and they both sat on the foot-end of the bed.

“…I know I put a lot on you after the… after last year. I confided in you, trusted you to fix everything and make it all okay, but I never stopped to think that you might had to vent too.”

Conor was silent, looked at the floor between his feet, partially because he didn’t know where else to look and partially because his sight was still a bit fussy from sitting up.

“Are you guys a wake?”

Alfie put his head through the half open door. Both boys looked up at him.

“Dinner’s ready if you want to eat something.”

“Thanks Alfie, we’ll be up in a sec.”

Jack got up and reached his hand towards Conor. Conor reacted a bit slower, he was still amazingly tired. He was hungry but didn’t feel like eating at all, maybe it was the dizziness or maybe the drive here, but he felt nauseous.

“C’mon Conor, we are good. Now let’s eat.”

Conor stood up with his brother’s help and slowly but without much effort gained enough control to stand and walk. As they approached the stairs Jack grabbed Conor’s arm and supported him. Not whispering but talking quietly enough that Zoë and Alfie wouldn’t hear Jack turned to his brother.

“You were there for me. Joe were there for you. Because of that he was able to be there for me… I guess I need to get my act in order and help the both of you now.”

Was that how Jack thought it was? When Conor thought about it, he wasn’t wrong, but how did Jack end up being the reasonable one this time? He shouldn’t feel like he had anything to make up for, though.

“You don’t have too…”

“I want to… besides I’m the one who is able to right now.”

* * *

**_Joe_ **

Caspar had been to visit both days Joe was alone, so had Zoë. The first thing Joe wanted to know when she walked through the door was how the Maynards were doing, and he was happy to hear that they were getting better and getting along in the big Zalfie-house. Caspar had insisted on being the one picking him up from the hospital on day three and driving him to join the others in Brighton. Joe had first thought that Caspar might had felt a bit useless in all this after Jack had moved out, but his ex-roommate and himself had had a few really good days in the room at the hospital, so Joe thought that he simply wanted to see for himself that the brothers were alright.

When they arrived at the house Zoë were by the car almost before it had stopped. Jack and Alfie greeted him at the door and Conor was inside still getting up from the couch when he came in. He looked just as tired as Joe felt.

It wasn’t that late, but Joe didn’t feel like eating, so after making everybody understand that he was okay, it was just the new painkillers, he had gotten to take home, that were making him tired, he went to bed. Conor and Jack had gone to bed early, too. He could hear his sister and Alfie talking to Caspar in the living room for a while. The words didn’t make it through but the sound of the voices made him calm down and eventually he fell asleep.

* * *

**_Jack_ **

Jack sat up. Conor was still sleeping beside him, but something had woken him. He listened. A scream followed by yelling, all from the same voice. Joe!

Jack stood up fast enough to feel that his concussion wasn’t all gone yet. He made his way up the stairs, using his good hand to both support himself on the steps and to guide the way in the dark. The sound got louder as he moved closer. Zoë came down from the bedroom upstairs but stopped her tired, but fast, walk when she saw Jack already at the door. She nodded at him and turned around. When he opened the door to the office, where Joe was sleeping the words came clear.

“ _My leg! My foot! Make it stop. STOP IT. PLEASE!”_

Joe had dropped the cover on the floor, his legs were not able to move much because of the cast and the contraption on the other, but the rest of him were shaking and his head were tossing from side to side.

“Joe! Wake up. It’s just a nightmare.”

Jack were shaking Joe by his shoulders.

“ _Make it stop! PLEASE!”_

Joe were screaming with all his capacity, and Jack struggled to hold him still.

“It’s over Joe. Wake up.”

Jack talked calmly to his friend, but inside he wanted nothing more than to run to Zoë for help, but he couldn’t leave him like this. With a jolt, Joe opened his eyes, he looked terrified and he had built up quite a sweat, in the process of tossing around.

“I was only a nightmare, Joe. You’re safe.”

Joe was panting under Jack’s grip but slowly he calmed his breathing a bit, so Jack let go. Jack noticed a glimpse of embarrassment in Joe’s face. A feeling he himself knew from after a freak-out, so he quickly turned the conversation.

“Are you in pain? Do you need me to get you your pills?”

Joe nodded and stated to sit up a bit.

“Thank you.”

“Sure thing.”

Jack got Joe his pills from the table and some water. Then he sat down on the floor with his back against the side of the bed. He talked into the room away from Joe, while Joe laid himself back down.

“Do you want me to stay? I can sit here if you want me to.”

Joe didn’t answer at first, but after a few seconds a very small “yes please” made its way to Jack.


End file.
